Thursday, July 31, 2008

Regrowth - Return Of The Beard

Dear Readers (yes I know that the only entities read this are the four and a half voices inside my bald head that resonate on the odd occasion.)

I am very very sorry for the age that it has taken me to get back to writing the unerringly dodgy missives about my non-life. I hope to correct that on a more regular basis.

Anyhow. I have been travelling the world in search of enlightenment and self-awareness, usually in seat 40C, with variously weird people sitting to my left and closer the emergency exit than I would like them to be.


This had two major effects on my life. The first is that I have been able to experience the depth and breadth of our fine race, all the way from shiny Dubai to the tip of Africa. I have even been to the depths of the primitive, rustic backwoods of civilisation but we only stopped over in Kansas due to a tornado warning.

The second was a period away from the Mummy. A mixed blessing. One being away from her wonderful spirit was sad. The interruption of the regular rhythms of a close symbiotic relationship symbolised by the immortal words "Come and eat. Ohh and lose that belly" was quite depressing.

This was in no way whatsoever offset by her inability to ambush me with more suitable matches. Being at 30,000 feet (very high for metric people) in a pressurised cabin, with the globe rushing past underneath, made insanely difficult for the Mummy to sneak in surprise visits from a collective of moustache wearing dudes with questions about property - which was, erm too bad.

Anyhow, those days are soon coming to an end. I will be ground bound again and enjoying a more sedentary life. And I have many many stories to relay to you ... but not quite now. The Mummy says we have to go and visit some old friends.