Sex shuts down the brain

So Science has given the FB a clue to why the otherwise inexplicable phenomenon of NGPB takes place. It’s one of the mysteries of human behavior that intrigues the FB , mainly because the FB has been on the receiving end of this through his many years on this planet – I’m not telling you if I’ve been on any others or not.

NGPB or Nice Girl Prick Boyfriend is something that I am sure many of you have come across.

It’s a pretty serious disease. It usually involves a really nice girl. Guys, you know the kind that we are talking about. Smart, funny, attractive, able to hold a wondrous conversation at level that make you think your oxygen intake was just sucked up by a passing fleet of school mums in their SUVs.

The kind of girl, that you spent most of you adolescent life writing lists about in the back of the tatty exercise book , alongside weird drawings of spaceships and the plan for world domination – alright not world domination , just not getting beaten up by the riotously funny rugby lads. Of course world domination is easier.

The usual pattern is that after you get to know this person, and after several hours of stunned reverential silence, you find out she’s got a man. Then you discover a few days later that so called man is actually proof positive that Darwin was wrong about Human evolution. This guy is obviously a rogue species that peeled off the accepted timescale somewhere near Australopithecus.

I find that this is a universal phenomenon that crosses cultures and boundaries. I once knew a lady from north Africa who could speak Seven different languages – that’s 7 more than I can manage on my best days (why do you think I type ). She collected academic qualifications with the same ease I pick up spam, or her boyfriend picked up other women.

“ Ah but you see , in the 21^st Century we cannot be constrained by the paradigm of the uniform one partner relationship…”, I’d quote more but I think by the time she threw in her fifth Nietszhe reference my brain was yelling “mind the gap”.

Credit to her about one thing though , Mr Knuckles got his nether regions rearranged by her elegant Gucci slippers one day after she saw him shifting her flat mate's paradigms.

A two for one demonstration of the NGPB phenomenon.

What’s worse is that poor old schlubs like the FB can spot the Prick Boyfriend at 20 miles but any protestations from us get treated like the Trojan dude who said “hang on a minute don’t you think it’s a bit early for the Greeks to be giving us lavish twenty foot carved statues?”

Of course when we see the biker/hip-hop wannabe/ Indian movie star/ ragamuffin / fake label wearing blonde highlighted creature ( I’ll stop there before I go green) from the nexus of the underworld making his slow slimey way through the atmosphere toward us with said hot lady on arm - things look bad.

It’s like the moment when the serial killer gets loose and those teenagers decide to take a holiday in the abandoned house with the tool shed full of power tools. It’s just going to head downhill from there on.

You see at that point we wonder if these wonderful women had their brains switched off at some point – now we know.