XXX Hot Beard Action
FB has a conundrum. A long time ago, in the time of two bladed razors and shaving brushes, FB used to get real excited by the flash of flesh provided by the learned publications of the Paul Raymond. The thought of Sean Young, even Demi Moor ( yes yes we are putting the boat out here) revelaing an outline in the dark recesses of Channel 4 would have made the FB very happy.
Now the prospect of a Channel 5 "documentary" on people who happen to be famous and very nude has me reaching for the remote to find something historical read out by Simon Schama in the middle of a down pour.
It's not just that. I find the prospect of "non-stop xxx hot lesbian bungee jumping cork tying action" and suchlike on the internet mind numbingly dull. I even suspect that had I been on the set of Swordfish where Ms Berry gets her sunscreen down would have had me yelling "FFS put some clothes on , you'll catch your death!"
Even some of the more radical examples of nekid gymnastic I have seen (all in the line of duty as a IT technician cleaning up corporate machines ...honest....) don't have an effect. The brain kicks in with thoughts like isn't that a nice patio behind the blonde with her mouth full. Sometimes I have even had to dig out some books on mechanical physics and human biology to work out what the heck s going on.
And lets face it , even if I was a innercity , hoodie enable, drug addled pev, the prospect of thinking of Isaac Newton would be a real passion killer.
I really don't know what this means.
Maybe I'm getting old or in the latter instance heading towards becoming a pantomine queen - or even both. Howeve the Newton thing might disprove the Queen theory - we shall see.
How does this bode for the future? On my wedding night am I going to turn to the new wife and say "that's a really nice place for a tattoo, love, do me a favour and put the kettle on."? I hear that this is suppose to happen after a few years of marriage and also involve moving her out of the way of the TV because the Cup Final is on.
Who knows I haven't got there yet, but the omens are a bit foreboding.
I have tried to find an answer to this from the nigerian man who keeps trying to sell me viagra via my email but to no avail.
Beard must be stroked in contemplation....
Now the prospect of a Channel 5 "documentary" on people who happen to be famous and very nude has me reaching for the remote to find something historical read out by Simon Schama in the middle of a down pour.
It's not just that. I find the prospect of "non-stop xxx hot lesbian bungee jumping cork tying action" and suchlike on the internet mind numbingly dull. I even suspect that had I been on the set of Swordfish where Ms Berry gets her sunscreen down would have had me yelling "FFS put some clothes on , you'll catch your death!"
Even some of the more radical examples of nekid gymnastic I have seen (all in the line of duty as a IT technician cleaning up corporate machines ...honest....) don't have an effect. The brain kicks in with thoughts like isn't that a nice patio behind the blonde with her mouth full. Sometimes I have even had to dig out some books on mechanical physics and human biology to work out what the heck s going on.
And lets face it , even if I was a innercity , hoodie enable, drug addled pev, the prospect of thinking of Isaac Newton would be a real passion killer.
I really don't know what this means.
Maybe I'm getting old or in the latter instance heading towards becoming a pantomine queen - or even both. Howeve the Newton thing might disprove the Queen theory - we shall see.
How does this bode for the future? On my wedding night am I going to turn to the new wife and say "that's a really nice place for a tattoo, love, do me a favour and put the kettle on."? I hear that this is suppose to happen after a few years of marriage and also involve moving her out of the way of the TV because the Cup Final is on.
Who knows I haven't got there yet, but the omens are a bit foreboding.
I have tried to find an answer to this from the nigerian man who keeps trying to sell me viagra via my email but to no avail.
Beard must be stroked in contemplation....
posted by D at 12:03 AM
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