Production Values
Dear Jihadi-Video-Directors,
A polite request on behalf of the Freebeard. I must admit I have never been a fan of your productions. You really have failed to grasp the history of film and especially documentary making.
I know that we really won't see eye to eye on many things in film history, and you always seem to resort to trying to assasinate me, when I get to the bit about Goddard. I suspect, though, that might not be becuase of hatred of the man's ouvre.
But - moving on - I really have to ask you lot to sort out your production values. Alright the "documentary style" is all in, with the shaky camera a la Greengrass but , seriously, that dialogue. Who's your writer. The south london gangsta who wasn't hard enough for "Kidulthood"?
If you're going to go around "representin'" us poor muslims and make videos like this then please can you ask the world not to "mess wit da Muslims" in a refined and a Recieved Pronunciation manner. The finger jabbing doesn't work either - it's as if the guy is trying to press a lift button that's too high for him.
I mean, you're not really pushing the boat out here, it's just like those low rent knock-offs produced in the CIA backlot somewhere in Kandahar, Kansas.
Next time, try a bit of lateral thinking. How about a haiku - you know to bring in a middle class flavour. That way you could confuse Guardian readers as well as heap destruction on the evils of modern capitalism.
There is even on-site assistance, you could ask the MI5 guys watching you make the video which take works best. Anyway, remmember, even if you're pushed you could use Microsoft Moviemaker to add spice and drama to the whole thing - after all , the Devil provided the best tools for his minions.
FB
A polite request on behalf of the Freebeard. I must admit I have never been a fan of your productions. You really have failed to grasp the history of film and especially documentary making.
I know that we really won't see eye to eye on many things in film history, and you always seem to resort to trying to assasinate me, when I get to the bit about Goddard. I suspect, though, that might not be becuase of hatred of the man's ouvre.
But - moving on - I really have to ask you lot to sort out your production values. Alright the "documentary style" is all in, with the shaky camera a la Greengrass but , seriously, that dialogue. Who's your writer. The south london gangsta who wasn't hard enough for "Kidulthood"?
If you're going to go around "representin'" us poor muslims and make videos like this then please can you ask the world not to "mess wit da Muslims" in a refined and a Recieved Pronunciation manner. The finger jabbing doesn't work either - it's as if the guy is trying to press a lift button that's too high for him.
I mean, you're not really pushing the boat out here, it's just like those low rent knock-offs produced in the CIA backlot somewhere in Kandahar, Kansas.
Next time, try a bit of lateral thinking. How about a haiku - you know to bring in a middle class flavour. That way you could confuse Guardian readers as well as heap destruction on the evils of modern capitalism.
There is even on-site assistance, you could ask the MI5 guys watching you make the video which take works best. Anyway, remmember, even if you're pushed you could use Microsoft Moviemaker to add spice and drama to the whole thing - after all , the Devil provided the best tools for his minions.
FB
posted by D at 5:09 PM
1 Comments:
<3.
followed you from the article on guardian. you should seriously try writing something on there, your tone and approach is borderline offensive and passionate, yet undeniably intelligent. keep up the good work.
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